Why Can’t You Just Get Along? (Divorce, Child Custody & Family Law)

| Child Custody Divorce Family Law | May 14, 2020

I would like to take my child(ren) out of state to Disneyland

“The Court is in receipt of Mother’s Motion for Permission to Travel Out-of-State with children. It is sad that such a motion has to be written, let alone ruled upon…. The Court cannot think of any good reason why any parent would refuse to agree in writing for his or her children to go to Disneyland…It just got a little more expensive to get happy. If in fact Father has refused Mother’s travel requests, then Father’s refusal for the sake of refusal is nothing more than a Mickey Mouse litigation tactic, and just plain Goofy.” In re the Marriage of McCreery FC2012-093275, Minute Entry dated 06/06/2013, page 1.

This ruling is funny. The Judge, clearly annoyed with the situation, makes numerous references to a parent’s refusal to allow his minor children to travel to Disneyland – presumably just to “get back” at the other parent. The Judge in this case attempted to inject some humor in a situation. The ruling went viral. It’s been all over Facebook. My paralegal told me she saw it before I showed it to her. I’ve shown it to multiple networking groups, my husband and anyone else I think could use a good laugh. But, it’s also a serious and sad reminder of the issues family law attorneys and judges deal with every day.

Are you really thinking about the child(ren)?

I’ve heard eloquent speeches by judges, mediators, attorneys and even clients and the gist of it is “Why can’t [you/he/she] just think about the child[ren]? It’s not about [us/him/her]. It’s about the child[ren]!”

Parents frequently say that to me. But, is it really? Are parents really putting their children’s best interests ahead of whatever animosity exists between the parents – that led to the breakdown of their relationship?

Children should not be involved in a relationship breakdown. They want to love both parents. They deserve to love their parents without hearing how bad the other parent is. Judges do not like to hear people badmouthing the other parent. Are there some really bad parents out there? Of course! There are people who make us all think – there’s no requirement, no class, no license required to become a parent?! But, for most of us, we try our best, we’re pretty good on most days although could use some improvement on others. When you start thinking of how to “get back” at someone though, you’ve lost sight of a child’s best interest. It’s just plain “Goofy.” Id.

So remember, the next time you want to object or fight the other parent, a judge may someday issue a ruling in your case. And it may go viral. Do you want the world to read that you’re engaging in a “Mickey Mouse litigation tactic?” Id.

Duenas Eden Law, PLC Experienced Family Law Attorneys

If you are involved in a decision making (child custody) or parenting time dispute with someone, call an experienced family law attorney to discuss your case.

The lawyers of Duenas Eden Law we are trusted and experienced attorneys focusing on family law including; child custody cases, divorce, child support, spousal support, same-sex legal issues other family law matters. Office in the Ahwatukee area of Phoenix, AZ and servicing the Ocotillo Community and the entire Chandler area, Laveen, Tempe, Mesa and Gilbert. Call today: (480) 285-1735.

At Duenas Eden, the health and safety of our employees and clients is of utmost importance. We are currently working remotely, but are available to address your individual needs. We have added new telephone numbers to better assist you. Please call or text attorney Amy Duenas at (602) 492-5636, attorney Dorian Eden at (480) 269–1731, or paralegal Chris Esparza at (480) 269-2158.  Our main office number of (480) 285-1735 is still being monitored hourly. Thank you for your patience during this difficult time for all.

Dorian Eden Attorney at Law Duenas Eden Law Family Law Ahwatukee AZ
By Dorian L. Eden
Adapted from the original published article in the August 2013 edition of Ocotillo Living

How to Talk to your Children about Divorce

| Divorce Legally Speaking | April 8, 2020

Children are very Inquisitive

“Does Timmy have two dads?” “Does he have two moms?” Have you heard these questions from the mouths of young children? If so, perhaps you have struggled with how to discuss a dissolution of marriage with your children and explain about friends’ families. Or, maybe you are concerned about discussing your own situation with your children. Maybe the question you’re getting is “Why doesn’t mommy live with me all the time?” or “Why do I have two homes?”

Little children are great at asking questions about anything and everything.  Sometimes parents have the answers, but oftentimes they don’t.

 

The So-Called “Non-Traditional” Family

While, I am not a child psychologist or counselor, I see this situation over and over as a family law attorney. If this is your situation, meaning if you are the one with a so-called “non-traditional” family, generally children will respond to the situation as it is presented to them. If this is the new norm and they are okay and loved by all, they will usually be okay. If one parent complains to the child about the child having to go to the other parent’s house, the children are likely to respond in kind.

Most children’s counselors that I talk with discuss that the parents, whether they are together or not, need to present a unified front to the child. A child should not ever be told why the parent’s marriage ended. Children do not ever need to know and should not be involved in their parent’s dissolution of marriage. Children need to know that there is a team of people working to create the very best situation for them – whether it is a team comprised of just the parents or a team of parents and a counselor or psychiatrist. In discussing with counselors, most also opine to me that children should never be told to decide where they want to live. A child’s view of the world is very different than an adult’s. If a child says that s/he wants to live with mom or dad, is it because they think they won’t have to attend school or do homework at that parent’s house? Is it because one parent has more video games than the other? Or, in cases of teenagers, is one parent more lenient with curfew than the other?

 

Having concerns about what is okay to say?

Talk with a child counselor. They are a wealth of information, even if your child does not ultimately see that counselor.Having concerns about what is okay to say? Talk with a child counselor. They are a wealth of information, even if your child does not ultimately see that counselor.

And if it’s your child’s friend who has the blended family, then in my humble opinion, it’s fine to say, “Yes, Timmy has two mommies, two daddies and two houses. Everyone is different and let’s remember that Timmy loves all of his parents!”

 

Consult with an Experienced Family Law Attorney

If you have questions about talking with your children about your particular situation, consult with an experienced family law attorney.

At Duenas Eden, the health and safety of our employees and clients is of utmost importance. We are currently working remotely, but are available to address your individual needs. We have added new telephone numbers to better assist you. Please call or text attorney Amy Duenas at (602) 492-5636, attorney Dorian Eden at (480) 269–1731, or paralegal Chris Esparza at (480) 269-2158.  Our main office number of (480) 285-1735 is still being monitored hourly. Thank you for your patience during this difficult time for all.

The attorneys of Duenas Eden Law we are experienced and trusted lawyers focusing on Family Law including; Divorce, Child Custody Cases, Child Support, Spousal Support, Same-Sex Legal Issues and other Family Law matters. We are Family Law Attorneys servicing Laveen, Ahwatukee, Tempe, Chandler, Mesa and Gilbert. Call today: (480) 285-1735.

Dorian Eden Attorney at Law Duenas Eden Law Family Law Ahwatukee AZ
By Dorian L. Eden
Adapted from the original published article in the March 2013 edition of Ocotillo Living

Someone Always Has It Worse Than You – Divorce

| Divorce Legally Speaking | April 1, 2020

There is little I hear in a divorce case that surprises me anymore.

After more than a decade of practicing family law I have heard horror stories of multiple affairs, people hiding money, people giving money away to hide it from their spouse, parents refusing to pay child support, parents refusing to return children to the other parent, parents making completely outlandish allegations against the other parent, charging up thousands of dollars of debt without the other person’s knowledge and so on.

But, even I had to laugh when a link circulated Facebook from Huffington Post titled “9 Divorce Stories Too Ridiculous to Make Up.” It was originally posted on the Huffington Post website on 3/21/14 (www.huffingtonpost.com).

Some of my favorites include a couple taking two hours with two attorneys and a mediator all billing to decide who should receive the approximately $40 worth of groceries in the fridge; Jewish parents arguing for three hours over who has the children on Christmas Day; and a couple arguing over a massage chair. Does this sound absurd to you? Rightly or wrongly, to the people who were arguing, these issues were not absurd. Sometimes one (or both) parties to a dissolution will argue just to be difficult, to take a contrary position to the other person,just to cost the other person money.

 

Improper Purposes

There are people who use the legal process, including a dissolution of marriage case, for improper purposes. If the judge assigned to the case believes that one party has taken unreasonable positions in the case, the judge may order that party to pay for the other person’s attorney’s fees. However, there are no guarantees, in any case, that a judge will issue this order. The more egregious the position taken or action taken, the higher the likelihood of obtaining an order. However, this may not immediately help the person who is forced to defend against false allegations or absurd positions. And, the judge may always find that the other party has also taken unreasonable positions on things.

Although as I said at the beginning of this article that there is little that surprises me in dissolution of marriage cases, that doesn’t mean that I still don’t shake my head when I hear certain things that a party has done. I may not be surprised, but I always hold out hope for basic human decency by the parties (and attorneys) in cases. Most of the time I am correct, but every now and again I’m disappointed. My clients repeatedly hear me advise them to take the high road. They’re much better off that way and hopefully sleep better at night.

 

Have an Experienced Family Law Attorney on Your Side

Going through any type of family law case is stressful – emotionally and financially. It is important to have an experienced family law attorney on your side to help you navigate through the case and bring it to resolution in a timely and without breaking the bank. At Duenas Eden Law, PLC we focus primarily on family law cases and resolving a case quickly, easily and cost-effectively. Your attorney should have experience with whatever issue arises in your case. And, hopefully your case doesn’t end up on The Huffington Post!

At Duenas Eden, the health and safety of our employees and clients is of utmost importance. We are currently working remotely, but are available to address your individual needs. We have added new telephone numbers to better assist you. Please call or text attorney Amy Duenas at (602) 492-5636, attorney Dorian Eden at (480) 269–1731, or paralegal Chris Esparza at (480) 269-2158.  Our main office number of (480) 285-1735 is still being monitored hourly. Thank you for your patience during this difficult time for all.

The attorneys of Duenas Eden Law we are experienced and trusted lawyers focusing on Family Law including; Divorce, Child Custody Cases, Child Support, Spousal Support, Same-Sex Legal Issues and other Family Law matters. We are Family Law Attorneys servicing Ahwatukee, Laveen, Tempe, Chandler, Mesa and Gilbert. Call today: (480) 285-1735.

Dorian Eden Attorney at Law Duenas Eden Law Family Law Ahwatukee AZ
By Dorian L. Eden
Adapted from the original published article in the May 2014 edition of Ocotillo Living

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